I am all in for looking back at the end of a year to identify big events that impacted me, to identify things for which I am grateful, and yes, to consider things that I would like to have change in my life.
HOWEVER (yes, all caps!) – I no longer even consider doing new year resolutions. It has been interesting to see how many more people are expressing the same sentiment. Maybe they have been as visible in the past, but I may have missed them because I have been swept up in the urge to set resolutions. Having watched those ‘new year resolutions’ flame out ever-so-quickly – sometimes not even lasting a few weeks – I have joined the growing crowd of “nope – no new year resolutions for me”.
As an interesting aside, in the decade of my life in the 1980’s, I actually “named” my years based upon major impactful events and situations. This came from a “look back” at the end of the year. Example:
1981 – coming undone
1982 – (ok, can’t say the negative word but the 2nd word is “you”)
1983 – finally free
1984 – open the door
1985 – stayin’ alive
1986 – a few good picks
1987 – a little bit of heaven
1988 – really great
1989 – mighty fine
You get the idea. But what I wanted to share that surprised me was that later in life, like recently, I could remember what year certain things/events happened in my life thanks to those “titles” I had given those past years. Like – when did I have back surgery? 1982 – thanks to the title of that year. When did I graduate from law school? 1987 as that event and passing the bar thus insuring my first lawyer job all fit with why I named it “a little bit of heaven”.
So what’s my reason for bringing this all up – besides it being the beginning of a new year?
I think New Year Resolutions…and often just plain ole “resolutions”…are made based on failures that have occurred or are still occurring in our lives. I want something to change so I “resolve” to change it. Maybe draft a rule or set a new habit-forming behavior in place. And yet, all too often, the change does not occur because the resolution just does not stick.
As we begin a new year, I receive a great message from my fav devotional, Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God Day by Day. As we begin a new year and enter what I, Candy, call the “look back” view of last year, Blackaby says we may “be painfully aware that you have failed your Lord in many ways.” He nailed the main source of my reflections.
He suggests we may not have been faithful, or we disobeyed His word, or even denied Him by the way we have lived. I have to admit these are often the kinds of regrets that dominate my thinking – where I failed — and if I did resolutions, they would figure heavily in them!
Here’s the good news. Blackaby reminds us that Jesus will take us aside as he did Peter – He will not berate us, nor humiliate us, nor any of those negative things we fear. Yes, I am aware there are consequences for behaviors, but this all still drives those resolution types of changes I want so that I am not ‘back here again next year’. Can you relate?
What will Jesus do? That is the rest of the good news. Blackaby reminds us of Peter’s experience when he miserably failed the Lord by fleeing with the other disciples from the Garden of Gethsemane. And later publicly denied even knowing Jesus. Peter must have wondered if he could ever be Jesus’ disciple again when he was so unfaithful in Jesus’ most crucial hour.
Jesus simply asked Peter “Do you love me?” He will ask us to examine our love for Him. If our answer is like Peter’s “Yes, Lord,” then Blackaby reminds us He will reaffirm His will for us. And if we truly love Him, we will obey Him as it is set out in John 14:15.
I found myself very convicted as I read Blackaby’s words that Jesus does not need our resolutions, our recommitments, or our promises to try harder this year. His stark truth? If we resolved to obey God last year but it did not help us to be faithful, it will not make us successful this year. OUCH!
But he is so right! I tend to see it as a matter of my just needing to work harder at “making it happen” or put behaviors in place that will ensure I stay faithful. Etc. But that is not what Jesus asked for from Peter – or me. Jesus asks for our love.
I think about the scripture and go read it again at John 21:15-25. So much more pops out at me.
As Jesus asks Peter if he loves him and Peter says “Yes, Lord”, then Jesus replies each time with some version of “feed my sheep.” It dawns on me that Jesus is pointing him to caring for others, not himself – which, of course, was what God desired for the focus of Peter’s life. And how does Jesus end his discussion with Peter? Just as He would end it with us, I believe. He says “Follow me!”
Oh dear, there is a sad sequel that I think I need to pay attention to with regard to this topic and the scripture we are reviewing. Immediately after Jesus told Peter to follow Him, Peter turned and saw another disciple (probably John) who was also following Jesus, just as they had all been told to do.
What was Peter’s response? “What about him?’ he asked Jesus. Now Jesus had just shared with Peter the difficult end-of-his-life picture including the kind of death Peter would suffer. It was very sobering to hear this, I am sure. But what did it do? It brought out self-focus again. Exactly what trips me up over and again. Envy – why do others get X and Y when all I get is Z?
Envy is born in pride and it is a soul trap. Does it also point out that I think if I “behave” in certain ways, I will get the approval I am seeking from my Savior? This whole reinstatement of Peter should make it clear to me that I am on the wrong track when envy pops up – Jesus clearly reinstated Peter with the re-direction of him to love Jesus and share that love with others, feed them. We escape envy by first identifying it, then renouncing it as self-love, and finally embracing Christ, the cross and His grace.
Bottom line, as Blackaby nails it, if we truly love the Lord, our service for Him in the new year will be of the quality that He desires. Resolution? Love the Lord.
