Please – definition – Cambridge Dictionary first points to the use of “please” in order to make a request more polite, or to add more force to a request or demand. But when used as a verb, it means “to make someone feel happy or satisfied, or to give someone pleasure”.
That last one is the one that trips me up. How? When I have to make a choice of whom I please!
And Henry Blackaby’s devotional book stated the flat-out truth about the hardest choice: at “times you will have to make a choice between pleasing God and pleasing those around you….” Aaargh! He nailed the problem.
The “whom” I am focused on pleasing is all too often “me”. That alone is a struggle, but Paul in his Galatians passage brought out my biggest struggle as he was facing it, also:
For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ. Galatians 1:10
What was going on? Here’s the deal. A group of Judaizers moved in after Paul left his conversion and teaching of the Galatian Christians. Once he was out of the vicinity, the Judaizers denigrated Paul’s credentials and authority to the new Christians. Paul had taught them the simple gospel message: Jesus died to pay for our sins and to deliver us. Period.
But the Judaizer group had begun to convince the Galatian Christians that more was required – like following the law of Moses and the multiple laws outlined there (based on deeds and actions like circumcision or food laws).
OK, that does not trip me up as much as the more subtle or hidden “pleasing” that slips in when I am not noticing it. Blackaby points out that as important as it is to strive for good relations with others, it is MORE IMPORTANT to maintain a steadfast and obedient relationship with Christ.
Yep, I buy that. Disobeying God is never a good idea. But what is hard is when obeying Him might cause a problem in my relationships (or my comfort, or my goals or….so many other things). What if my family or friends might not be followers of Jesus and may misunderstand my choices or actions in obedience to Him?
Oh yes, there is a scripture that addresses that. Matthew 10:35-36:
[Jesus speaking]
For I came to turn
A man against his father,
A daughter against her mother,
A daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
And a man’s enemies will be
The members of his household.
If that is not hard enough, substitute the family identifications with your friends, your boss, your co-laborers….
Jesus was warning us that obeying Him might set family members at odds with each other. But in fact, in Luke 8:21 Jesus goes another step in saying those who obey His will are His brothers and sisters. It is not that God intends to cause division in our homes, Blackaby reminds us, but he places obedience to God above domestic harmony.
There we are again – I have confessed this in other blogs – obeying God’s will. And how can I discern His will (yes, still waiting on that postcard in the mail).
Blackaby’s wisdom is directing me to “get alone in quietness with God so that you understand what pleases Him.” He is correct in pointing me to the world’s thinking which is going to mislead me more easily if I don’t stop and think through – get clear – about what God desires.
Another source pointed me to some helpful, and rather pithy, points to think about in this quiet discerning time:
–Evaluate motives: is popularity calling to me more than fidelity to God’s word?
–Am I resisting cultural syncretism that dilutes grace? (say what? Syncretism? I learned about that on a mission trip to Ghana – although a native biblical pastor was doing great preaching and teaching as he established several churches, in a shopping trip with one of the women who helped lead worship, she pointed to the trees being greatly stirred by wind and said something about the spirits in the trees being agitated. Others who were sharing at the church talked about the spirit in the river. Syncretism in this case is blending Godly beliefs with cultural beliefs that in truth are not compatible.) Doing so can dilute the power of God’s grace in saving us.
— Stand firm when legalism or relativism challenge gospel purity.
I go back to Blackaby’s words, “what pleases Him”. I know I must actively reach deep for the Lord’s perspective when I find myself tempted to “please others”— I need to check to see if a niggling question is bouncing around in my head asking if what I am considering will “please God”.
Blackaby shared the best illustrative biblical story to bring a real sobriety to my thinking in this regard. It broke Peter’s heart and confidence to know that the opinion of a servant girl had mattered more to him than the approval of his Lord! Fear of man – what a trip up it can be.
As Blackaby says, “if the desire to appease others tempts you to compromise what you know God would want you to do, learn from Peter’s mistake. Determine that you will please your Lord regardless of the opinions of others.” It will help me greatly if I remember that God’s ways are not man’s ways (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Oh, that I will remember that at the times when my head is being turned by a traitorous desire for acceptance, popularity and false peace. And may it bring us all to clarity about what God wants as we set our hearts on pleasing Him.
