I remember when Rick Warren’s book Purpose Driven Life bounced to popularity. In 2005, a survey of American pastors and ministers conducted by George Barna asked Christian leaders to identify what books were the most influential on their lives and ministries. The Purpose Driven Life was the most frequent response. And The Purpose Driven Church, written prior to it, was the second most frequent response. It’s an amazing story with Billy Graham instrumental in getting Warren to produce it.
But that is not what caught my attention. The popularity brought it to me but the opening statement in the book is “seared” into my memory: “It’s not about you.”
Whoa! At that time in my life, late to the profession of being a lawyer, I was working my tail off trying to handle the caseload, honing the skills I desired to have, setting goals like ‘nobody’s business’ and, yes, they were ALL about me. (OK, some had to do with family.)
His opening salvo, if you will, brought me up short. And now, many years later, I can still remember the shock, and then the impact, of the book. Warren explained how the quest for personal fulfillment, satisfaction and meaning can only be found in understanding and doing what God placed you on Earth to do. Just soak in that for bit.
Henry Blackaby’s devotional Experiencing God Day by Day brought this point back to me, big time. He said “Sin causes us to be self-centered, shifting our hearts from God to self.”
Thus, as he went further into it, a Christian must spend a lifetime denying self. Looking at Matthew 16:24 was the base point:
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.” Matthew 16:24
“It’s not about you.” — oh, yeah, I remember that. Blackaby nailed it when he pointed out that our great temptation will be to affirm ourselves while we follow Jesus. He’s right, self-centered people try to keep their lives unruffled and undisturbed, safe and secure. We give our time and effort to the goals of this world.
I do love it when a winning quarterback (or better yet, a team) has a great win on the field and points to the Lord or goes down on a knee to pray together. And yet, Blackaby’s words warn us when we are thinking that when we are successful in the world’s eyes, we seek to bring God into our world by honoring Him with our success. And Blackaby says God is not interested in receiving secondhand glory from our activity, but God receives glory from His activity through our lives.
I don’t want to take anything away from a player who gives credit or thanks to God, but it draws out my searching myself for what God’s activity through my life might be. Honestly, I am still waiting for the postcard in the mail from Him which says “I want you to…..” Fill in the blank with something absolutely specific. Instead, like so many other folks, I pursue my own goals and ask God to bless them! That’s backwards – I get it!
So, back to the scripture for guidance – and Warren supports this as well. I must “deny myself” and “take up my cross”. Yes, I can debate all day what those might mean. But sadly, it is really hard to kick “self” out of that discussion.
I take direction from Blackaby (and Warren). My “cross” is God’s will for me regardless of the cost. It is a choice and it is not beyond my control. Blackaby says our often spoken circumstances or consequences of our own actions are NOT our “cross to bear”. Rather, it is to “voluntarily participate in Christ’s sufferings as He carries out His redemptive purposes”. Philippians 3:10.
I want to go straight from “denying” myself to “following Jesus”. Blackaby insists we have to first take up our cross before we can follow. There are aspects of God’s redemptive work that can be accomplished only through suffering; remember Christ had to suffer in order to bring salvation. We will have hardships to endure in order for God to bring salvation to those around us. Blackaby pointed out that Jesus did not talk with His disciples about the cross until they had come to know He was the Christ (Matthew 16:21)
It sounds so hard that it is tempting to turn back, or ignore, or get busy with other “godly” work. Nope – won’t work. As Blackaby points out, if you are waiting for a relationship with God that never requires suffering or inconvenience, then you cannot use Christ as your model. He says God’s will for you involves you taking up your cross first; then you can follow Him.
Warren hits it another way. He prepares the reader to answer the two questions God will pose to him on the last day: What did you do with Jesus, and what did you do with what God gave you? He poses a question I often hear from Ken Sande when he is talking about the peacemaking work – “How can I bring glory to God?” in this situation, this circumstance, this set of problems that rose to a conflict.
I am always drawn to the Great Commandment and the 2nd one as well: Love God with all your heart, soul and strength – and then Love your neighbor as yourself. Warren points these out as well then adds the directive to go and make disciples through evangelism, baptizing them into fellowship of the church and then teaching them to do all things through discipleship.
What? Where’s “me” in all this? What about my goals and dreams? Oh yeah, Warren told me already, “It’s not about me”, much to my chagrin. Interesting how opposite of the world’s message this is.
When I am contacted about a potential conflict resolution or mediation, I have to sigh inside when I hear that one of the parties is a narcissist – that is the ultimate of the self-centered description. Now I personally believe that we all have that self-centered propensity within us – maybe it is a sliding scale of narcissism – not sure. But I know that if self is not denied during our conflict work, if the narcissism scale is at the peak in one of the parties, we are not likely to get anywhere with our efforts. Unless the Lord shows up and changes hearts, melts self-centeredness away, hope for reconciliation fades.
“Jesus does not follow us; we are to follow Him” – thanks Blackaby. You nailed it again. It’s not about us; it is about Him. And turning the whole conflict process over to Him, letting Him direct and guide, searching for His direction in each step, that is the only way to go no matter how hard it is for me or humbling or messy.
But Blackaby also reminds me of the joy of times when I truly felt the Lord leading (and I was following) — seeing the joy of some coming to see Jesus for the first time, seeing friendships and marriages restored, brokenness made whole. As Blackaby says, following Jesus can mean going through a storm or standing on a mountaintop. He is God and we are not.
Warren’s words affirm – worship is not about what pleases us, but about what makes God smile – when we love, trust, obey and praise Him, and when we use our abilities for His glory. It is true that the heart of worship is surrender, as he says, but Warren lifts our spirits by reminding us that “God wants to be your best friend.”
So here are the questions Blackaby poses for us to ponder today (and yes, I am right alongside you) – “Are you willing to follow Jesus anywhere, at any time, under any condition? That is the only way you can follow Him.” Centered on Christ, not self!
