Ok, I agree with that if we are talking about animals – dogs or cats etc. But I suspect you have heard this as often as I have in another vein – the meaning was “let’s leave things as they are”, especially to avoid restarting or rekindling an argument or conflict.
What? Conflicts and disagreements just vaporize over time? I don’t think so. Despite our hope and desire for this to be true – I have not yet experienced it. And usually, it just gets worse – entrenched, expanded and enlarged into a major problem – and often buried deep underground, festering. Even if the two parties at odds are not seeing or talking to each other, they are not reconciled. The lack of interaction does not mean things are all good and settled – no matter how much you wish and hope that to be true.
My favorite devotional book by Henry Blackaby gives this a simple, direct title – “Be Reconciled!” – it certainly appears to be a command. Here’s the scripture:
“Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:24
What does this scripture mean? “It is useless to give offerings to God while you are at enmity with your brother” says Blackaby. Oh yeah, and that is not your biological brother – that is your “neighbor” brother that God commanded you to love (Matthew 22:39)
I use this scripture (along with others) at the opening stage of my mediations. Why? Often – actually almost always, one or both of the parties to a dispute are certain that the other person should be coming to them to apologize. The other party is ‘at fault’. And the other person, they believe, “should” make the effort to fix things. Certainly not them, the blameless one!
Blackaby points out how worldly thinking has crept into our daily living. Jesus said that His followers should be reconciled with anyone who has something against them. Our world seeks reconciliation on limited terms – and we adopt those quickly. But Christians are to be reconciled, whatever it takes.
I hear the outcries:
—But you don’t know how deeply he hurt me! It’s unreasonable to ask me to restore our relationship.
–I tried but she would not listen.
It is amazing to hear what people say when I ask them to describe how they “tried”. And then we have to discuss what Blackaby points out — “Jesus did not include an exception clause for our reconciliation.” I point out that the scripture just before the one I quoted above says that if you are offering your gift at the altar “and there remember that your brother has something against you….”
In fact:
- If the person is an enemy, Jesus said to love him (Matthew 5:44)
- If the person is persecuting us, we are to pray for them and if they publicly humiliate us, we are not to retaliate (Matthew 5:39) – you won’t hear that in the world’s wisdom
- If they take advantage of us, we are to give them even more than they ask (Matthew 5:41) – talk about being opposite of worldly wisdom! Yep, world says “assert yourself” and Jesus taught “deny yourself.”
The phrase “that’s not fair” is one of the most common refrains sung these days. What was Jesus’ teaching? His concern was not that His disciples (which includes us, folks) be treated fairly but that they show unconditional love to others regardless of how they are treated.
Remember how He was treated as they nailed Him to a cross – beaten, spat upon, taunted and yet his response is our model: “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
This “be reconciled” scripture is part of the Sermon on the Mount, the most famous of all the teachings of Christ. Essentially, the topics covered in that sermon are teaching us how those who repented in preparation for the coming of the kingdom should live as they await its coming.
And as Christians we learn that the whole message of the Gospel is one of reconciliation: a people who sinned over and over against God were given Jesus – to believe in, model after, and follow — so that in our faith and following we could uncover our path back to God and full unity. As Jesus told His disciples, “I am the way and the truth and the life”.
Blackaby sums it up this way. If there were ever a command that is constantly disobeyed, it is this mandate to be reconciled. We comfort ourselves with the thought, “God knows that I tried to make things right, but my enemy refused.” God’s Word does not say “Try to be reconciled,” but “Be reconciled.”
Is there someone with whom you need to make peace? Then do what God tells you to do. Those are Blackaby’s final words on the subject.And if you need some biblical guidance or support in doing that, connect with me HERE.
