Who brought this up for me? I could say “Henry Blackaby” because of a recent devotional of his.
But the truth is that it came up again – I observed someone not being fully truthful about something because they “just didn’t want to get involved”.
Blackaby says “One of the Christian’s greatest deterrents from sin is the life of another Christian.” Wow, have you thought about that as one of your attributes or responsibilities as a Christian? It hits me pretty hard.
How many times have you heard someone say it is none of their business if someone else chooses to sin? They are sure they are being judgmental if they respond – and we are told as Christians we are not to judge others (that is God’s job, not ours, etc.). That is true – but this is not about judging.
I have come to believe Blackaby is right – it is the world that persuades us to “not get involved”. As he reminds us, this “inaction” prevents us from being effective intercessors.
Intercessor? What is that? Take a look at this scripture:
Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his life from death and cover a multitude of sins. (James 5:20)
OK, if you are like me, I am trying to retreat a bit around that word “sin” – what is it, really? Is what I am observing really a sin?
That is an important question – because sin IS a serious thing.
As Christians we are aware that sin brings death. (Romans 6:23) Blackaby reminds us that sin kills relationships, dismantles marriages, stifles joy, and destroys peace.
So, when someone wanders from the truth into error, how should we respond?
Blackaby takes us back to Jesus for our examples. When Jesus saw sin, it broke His heart.
- He wept over entire cities when He saw them rejecting truth. (Matthew 23:37-39)
- He prayed fervently for His disciples to be strong when they were tempted (John 17)
- He warned those who were heading toward spiritual failure (Matthew 26:20-25, 34)
- Jesus was even willing to die to save people from their sins because He knew the devastation that sin causes
Because of sin, Adam and Eve fell short of the perfection God intended for them; the Israelites relinquished the glory they could have experienced as God’s holy people; Judas fell short of the opportunity to be an apostle of Jesus.
A memorable example from scripture is the story of Achan. Blackaby used this story to demonstrate that just as the obedience of one Christian can bring blessing to others, the sin of one Christian can bring harm to many others.
The Israelites were marching toward the Promised Land and had a miraculous victory over the city of Jericho and were heading to their next battle – but were surprised at the decisive defeat they experienced. They sought God’s explanation and He shared it: He revealed that someone among them had disobeyed His clear command to not keep any possession from Jericho.
You can read the full story in chapter 7 of the book of Joshua but essentially, Achan took some of the “devoted things” from Jericho and hid them. He thought he could conceal it. But it cost him and his family their lives, his countrymen to lose the battle, innocent soldiers to be killed, and the reputation of Israel’s fighting power to be doubted – all serious repercussions for others.
The point? One’s sin will have an impact on others. Choosing to disobey God is the clear definition of sin in this example. Choosing to disobey God is costly –so how do we not do this? By diligently seeking to obey every word from God. We do not know how our disobedience could affect those around us.
Seems vague, right? How can I know every single “word from God”? Blackaby suggests we invite God to search our lives to see if there are attitudes, relationships, or activities that need to be removed. And we may become aware of those attitudes, relationships, or activities in those around us as well.
I found a succinct description from Blackaby that helps me – sin is choosing a standard other than God’s law on which to base your life. As he pointed out, if you are measuring your life by that of your neighbors, or society at large, then you are basing your life on lawlessness, and lawlessness is sin.
Sin “creeps” into our lives – it is so sneaky and even at times looks so attractive that we are lulled into thinking that it cannot really harm us – or others.
So our first job is to recognize sin. If we call it a “mistake” or a “bad habit” or a “weakness”, we will never escape it’s grasp. And as Blackaby points out, if we blame our sins on others, or allow pride to convince us it is too humiliating to admit the sin, then it will “subtly and pervasively rob us of the spiritual power and victory that could be ours.”
Here’s the good news – again, a quote from Blackaby says it best:
God is absolutely just. He loves, and He forgives, but He does not compromise His righteousness. God deals with us uniquely. He draws upon our experiences to teach us about Himself. God will forgive us of our sin, but He may provide stark reminders of the ugliness of sin. Let us thank God that He loves us enough to remind us of the destructive consequences of sin in our lives.
And that same “good news” applies to our friends around us.
I was looking for guidance in this topic – and I don’t want to leave you without any help here either. So here is my summary – hope it is helpful to you.
“Minding your own business” may save you some discomfort, but it will not help a brother or sister who needs to return to the Lord. And I take that as the best starting point – asking if what I am observing is showing me someone who needs to return to the Lord.
Helpful scripture on this is “Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.” Philippians 2:4
Next, I like Blackaby’s recommendation to “pray fervently for your friend.” That will safeguard our motives and prepare us to minister to them.
Then we must listen, closely, to what God directs us to do next. Am I to go to that person? I need to feel the Lord is urging me in that direction – I need peace about this. Sometimes, it may require asking the friend if I may speak into their situation (and listening to their response respectfully).
If I do speak into their life, or into the situation, it must be loving and gentle as Blackaby recommends (Galatians 6:1 is a good reminder of this).
But I will add what I have learned – mostly by doing it wrong, aka the “hard way”. When we need to speak to someone about the sin we are observing, it is best to ask them an introspective question rather than flatly stating what they are doing wrong. These questions give clues that reveal their heart. Stating flat out what is wrong will usually raise their defensive side and an argument ensues.
(A few examples might explain, but you need to make the questions relevant to the situation)
- Help me understand, please, what you were hoping to accomplish? …have happen?
- How do you view yourself in this situation?
- How do you view the other person?
- (eventually bring them to a Christ-centered view) How does God’s role fit into this situation? …what scripture is important to you in this situation? … important to God?
- (ultimately you pray they will see their sin, name it, own it and be ready to confess it)
It is much harder and takes more patience to lead someone through questions and deep listening to discern their own errors and sins. But it is way more productive and successful.
In the years of training I experienced as I became a Certified Christian Conciliator, I realize it is possibly more important than having trained professionals to have peacemaker training shared with everyone around us to use in their everyday lives.
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)
It is our business – and we are to “mind it” – even if the person does not allow us to interact with them, we are still to be intercessors in prayer for them.And I am here for you – if you find you would like to have specific help with a situation, please feel free to set a convenient time to connect with me HERE
