I know you have been there. Or at least I hope you have – so I don’t have to admit I am in a category all by myself.
I offered to do a favor, and was happy to do so. Then it expanded to another assist and gradually, over time, it took a bigger section of my available time (and good will?) and then I began to see the “creeping” problem settling into my attitude.
Oh yeah, it can happen with our kids, also – young or grown. Let me help you with this – and later, of course, I would be glad to do that. And pretty soon it’s a lot more frequent and I am about to burst when the next “volunteer” opportunity appears. Burst? Yes, with shouts of “Who do you think I am? Do you think I am just sitting around waiting to do whatever you need? Do you think I have nothing better to do? Do you realize….” And it drifts off there as I realize the level of anger has risen to a dangerous point.
What’s happening? The world would tell me I am being too soft and got taken advantage of and now I need to ‘stand up for myself’ or ‘take care of myself’.
But then here comes Henry Blackaby (in his devotional Experiencing God Day by Day) and reminds me that the measure of greatness in the kingdom of God differs vastly from that of the world. He says our society idolizes the rich, the powerful, the beautiful, and the athletic. They are “great”. In fact, as he reminds me, the world claims it is demeaning to serve others. I think of how ‘servants’ are portrayed in movies, books, stories, and daily life situations. And the world estimates your importance by the number of servants you have.
But Blackaby to the rescue in making me look inward and search for the real truth in scripture. “For who is greater, the one at the table or the one serving? Isn’t it the one at the table? But I am among you as the One who serves.” Luke 22:27
Yep, Jesus Christ himself speaking as he and the disciples had gathered for what would be called “the last supper”. As one source described this scene, the disciples “are reclining at the table, their sandals kicked off and their feet dusty from the day’s journey.” But “Jesus rises from his place and begins to wash the disciples’ feet, a task typically reserved for servants. The disciples watch in astonishment as their teacher and leader humbly takes on the role of a servant.”
I’m thinking at this point – he was tired and dirty, too, plus he was facing a horrendous series of events that would be physically, mentally and spiritually terrible torture. And yes, the attitude of the disciples at that point? They were looking for a prominent place to sit and even at one point disputed among themselves which of them was considered to be greatest. (yeah, did the words “ingrate” and “clueless” run through your mind, also?)
As Blackaby astutely notes, Jesus looked for a place to serve. Yet we Christians like to refer to ourselves as servants, but we are seldom content to be treated as servants! We are tempted to adopt the world’s evaluation of importance.
I can’t escape how Blackaby’s words made me re-evaluate. “God’s kingdom completely rejects the world’s measure for esteem, giving the greatest honor to the one who serves most. The person who serves selflessly, lovingly, without complaint, and without seeking recognition is highly regarded in the kingdom of God.”
Whoa! I totally missed that selflessly, lovingly, without complaint or seeking recognition part!! I guess I need to be on the alert for when the opposites of those mindsets show up. That should be my clue to evaluate what is happening. Have I chosen to serve? Have I the heart of Christ in doing whatever I am doing to serve? What do I need to do to reverse my “attitude” issue?
Okay, Okay – I can hear it coming in from peanut gallery right now: WHAT? Are you spoiling your kids, your friends, getting taken advantage of, showing low self-esteem – is that really what is required of a Christian – or is that being a doormat for everyone and losing influence because of it? Yes, that skips through my mind as well.
Doormat? Someone who allows himself to be abused, disparaged, or taken advantage of without mounting a defense. Good question – since Jesus taught us to “turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:39) and to “do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:37), was He telling us to be doormats?
No, He was not. I like what Got Questions added to this discussion. Jesus was teaching that, to glorify God and show ourselves to be His true children, we need to be pure, inside and out, and be as accommodating as possible for the sake of a lost world. But it does not mean we place ourselves or others in danger or that we ignore injustice. When we are the objects of personal slights, our first response is not to retaliate in kind. Being a doormat is weakness, but choosing forgiveness is strength.
Their final point is that while we tend to focus on what we see, God is always looking at the heart. For example, some allow themselves to be doormats because of their own insecurities and low self-worth, fearing rejection, trying to gain validation – and more, expecting fallible people to tell them who they are instead of relying on God to do that.
Blackaby sums it up nicely – the “world will estimate your importance by the number of people serving you. God is more concerned with the number of people you are serving.”
And his final wisdom is the one I will adopt as a measuring stick for my actions/mindset. “If you struggle to be a servant, your heart may have shifted away from the heart of God. Ask Jesus to teach you selflessness and to give you the strength to follow His example. Watch for Jesus’ invitation to join Him in serving others. It will come.”
Okay – eyes open, heart in sync with His!! I’m with you on this.
